Can’t work up the courage to ask out the woman who’s always on your mind? Does the thought of going on a date make you want to run for the hills? Find your heart pounding and lose your ability to talk?
We all experience a bit of fear when it comes to dating. It is hard putting your heart (and your dignity) on the line! But if you’re finding that fear is constantly getting in the way of you finding happiness, it is time for things to change.
Take a look at three tips to beat the fear, use it to your advantage and win that woman of your dreams.
1. You’ve got to be in it to win it
Sometimes, especially when we have been hurt in relationships before, we try to stay away from becoming attached to anyone to avoid being let down again. But the truth is, we are never going to feel the happiness of having someone again until we actually put ourselves out there and get back in the game.
So let’s face the fear. Think about the worst that can happen if you go on that date. She stands you up, or says she doesn’t want a second one?
Take time to think about this rationally. You probably would feel a little rejected and hurt, this is natural. But this DOES NOT mean that you are not a great guy with a lot to offer. Maybe you just didn’t click and she wasn’t the right woman for you.
Rather than taking this personally, let’s look at the positives of this situation:
1. You put yourself out there and gave it a go (good on you!).
2. You will have learnt something for next time, whether it be about the type of woman you want to be with or the actual venue/activity of the date.
3. You now have a fresh opportunity to go out and meet that perfect woman for you.
That doesn’t sound so bad, right?
So go for it, ask out that special lady you’ve been thinking about, and show her the amazing guy you are.
2. A little fear is a good thing…
So you’ve made it to the date. Your palms are sweating and your heart is pounding. She must be thinking that you’re a total mess right?
Wrong.
When we become nervous and excited, a set of responses are triggered in our bodies which are not only designed to protect us from danger, but also work to make us more appealing to the opposite sex.
Your heart pumps faster, increasing blood flow through your body and giving you that sexy glow. Your blood sugar and adrenaline levels increase, giving extra energy and alertness. Your breathing becomes shorter, lips part and eyes become sexy and dilated – all helping to make you irresistible to your date!
So embrace it, being a little nervous when dating is natural – it is scary to put yourself out there! This just means that you care about your date and your mind is recognizing that this is a potentially dangerous situation. Remember that she will be feeling the exact same thing.
You’ll be amazed at how much you’ll relax once the conversation starts flowing.
3. Confidence is sexy!
It can be too easy to get so caught up in wondering what a woman is thinking about you that you don’t allow yourself to just be natural and enjoy her company.
If fear is getting in your way to the point where you can’t act natural, hold a conversation or maintain eye contact with the woman you like, it is time to take a good look at your own self-views.
How do you see yourself? Can you list 5 great things about you?
If you can’t, this is a sign that you are in need of a little time to work on accepting and loving yourself before you are ready to ask that woman out.
Remember, women love men who love themselves.
Confidence is sexy! And by no means do you have to be that chiseled body builder at the gym to be a confident man. Being sexy is all about feeling good about who you are and being able to show your true self – never compare yourself to others.
Here are some things you can start doing today to work on becoming the confident, sexy man you can be: Stand up straight, walk with purpose, smile and make eye contact with people you see, and think about all of the great qualities you have.
Try writing down a list of all these qualities, with a trusted friend or family member if you need. Believe it. Look at this list before you go on a date, to remind yourself of all the amazing reasons why women would want to be with you.
So go for it – put yourself out there! Conquer the fear and find the happiness you deserve.