One of the most common questions we often get asked by men is: “But why would she choose ME out of all the other guys?”
Some of these men talk about heartbreaking times where they have been in love with a girl but she has chosen to be with his friend instead, or about feeling like they are always the unnoticed one in the group when out with friends.
Over time, this has led them to start doubting themselves, and thinking negative thoughts such as “I will never get a girl”, or “What’s the point of trying to talk to her, she won’t want me”.
It made me really sad to hear that these wonderful guys had come to such self-defeating conclusions. They all have so much to offer, but are losing out on meeting amazing women because they are too busy comparing themselves to other men.
The beauty about human relationships is that we all want different things, and there is absolutely no ‘one man’ that could fulfill every woman.
So I want to point out a few things that let all of you men know that you DO all have amazing qualities that women desire, and there ARE ways that you can stand out from the crowd and win the heart of the perfect woman for you.
1. Be comfortable with yourself
Something that will really draw a woman in is a man who is comfortable with who he is. If you are comfortable in your own skin, she will sense this and relax instantly in your presence. This signals to her that you are genuine, stable, and will accept her for who she is.
When you are going out to a social event, the first step is making sure you feel comfortable and confident in what you are wearing. Does it feel like you? Or is it not your style?
As long as your outfit complies with the dress code of the venue, it is really important to be wearing what you feel comfortable in, as it will show through your body language if you do not.
Play to your strengths – a woman is much more likely to notice all the great things you do have, rather than what you don’t have.
2. Be humble
Take any social setting. A Christmas party, for example. There will be the typical loud mouthed men in the center of the room who are arrogantly boasting about everything they have achieved that year, their new car and their latest workout at the gym, hoping that every woman within earshot will swoon. You could be that guy.
Or, you could be the guy who catches her eyes (once they have finished rolling) and smiles. Someone who will ask more about her in the conversation rather than himself. Someone who quietly downplays his achievements, whilst still having an air of confidence.
THIS is the man she will want to spend the rest of the night talking to.
3. Pay attention to her
If you want to stand out in a crowd to a woman, give her your attention. We like people who like us, and there is nothing more flattering than having someone’s undivided attention.
This does not mean staring and constantly crowding her space – look out for her signals to move forward.
So you see her sitting across the room and aren’t sure whether to approach.
The first way to give her your attention? Make eye contact and smile. If she holds your gaze, or looks back and smiles, this is a good sign that she is also interested. Let her invite you over with her eye contact.
Now you have used your eyes, it is time to use your ears. Pay close attention to what she is saying in conversation, whether it be alone or in a group. Nod and ask questions – this will show you are actually listening to her.
4. Do what you say you will do!
Women want a man she can trust. Someone she can rely on to be there in the good times and the bad. Someone who will always make her feel secure.
Unfortunately, this is something that many men struggle with. Being trustworthy means actually following through with your intentions and promises – picking her up at 7 if you say you will pick her up at 7.
It also means being honest. Women are exceptionally skilled at lie detecting, especially when they are first meeting a man. Make sure you answer her questions honestly and don’t try to be anything you are not – this will immediately put her off.
So if you can be honest and follow through with all of your plans and promises, you are off to a great start to winning her heart.
5. Show her your warm, funny side
Guys, if you can make her laugh, you are already standing head and shoulders above the rest of the men in the room.
You may be thinking: ‘But I’m not a funny guy!’
I’m going to let you in on a secret. You don’t NEED to be a comedian or life of the party to make her laugh. Just allow your natural sense of humor to shine through. Laugh at her jokes and don’t be scared to tease her a little.
When someone makes us laugh, we FEEL GOOD.
This instantly sparks feelings of affection, lowers people’s defenses, and helps them to feel comfortable in our presence.
If you can show all of these 5 qualities, you are guaranteed to stand out in the crowd. Although it may take time, this approach will help you to create a great lasting impression that will leave her really craving your company.
And the best thing about it? The person she is falling for is 100% YOU, not someone else you are trying to be.