If you’re interested in meeting women and dating them, you need to improve your inner game by learning the basics of attraction. Otherwise, lacking the know-how to get a woman’s attention is like going into war without a weapon.
Ready to lock and load? Here’s how:
#1: Don’t Listen To Your Mind
You may not notice it, but paying too much attention to all that crazy chatter in your head is going to wreck your game.
Sometimes, a guy is obsessed about what will happen next that he ends up choking and hurting his chances even more. This is a habit you should be aware of so you can stop yourself when you feel your mind going down that path again.
Our mind has a way of showing us our worst fears, but most of the time these fears are overblown.
Talking to a woman and saying “hi” is not an intimidating ordeal, and more importantly, your life is NOT on the line here. So what if she asks you to get lost? Learn from the experience and move on.
First-time skydivers hesitate when it’s their turn, but once they’ve made the leap and parachuted back to the ground, there was nothing to worry about in the first place.
In the same way, overthinking something just fuels your hesitation. Don’t let yourself get to the point where you’ve become utterly petrified from the thought of striking up a conversation.
Make a quick observation of that girl you have your eye on, and use that as a conversation starter. Don’t waste too much time putting thought into it.
You see that cool necklace she’s wearing? Go on ask her where she got it. Is she wearing a shirt with an intentionally funny print on it? Ask her, “What’s the story behind that?”
From that point on, you’ll get a conversation going. It’s not as complicated as you think.
Anything worthwhile begins with the first step. The less time you spend mulling over taking that first step, the sooner you can make progress.
#2: Remember That Life Is Abundant
Remember when I said that attraction isn’t a matter of life or death? Well, that’s because getting rejected doesn’t mean there aren’t any other opportunities out there.
In fact, there are literally millions of women in the world, so you couldn’t date them all if you tried. That means you have all the learning experiences you’ll ever need until you get to that point where you’ll hit your stride and develop a solid set of seduction skills.
If you get turned down, chill out about it. Don’t be afraid that you won’t find any other girls, because they are out there whether you like it or not.
So unless the apocalypse happens, you will never have to worry about a shortage of women. If at first you don’t succeed, the universe will present you with many, many other chances to try again.
Why waste energy beating yourself up over one interaction anyway? It just means it wasn’t meant to be.
Typical guys (read: those who don’t bother learning seduction skills) will chalk it up to some personality defect they supposedly have. They’ll think that they’re cursed to be alone forever and let their mind flood themselves with thoughts of doom.
By the time they try again, they’re already convinced that they’ll get rejected. Then they’ll make their self-fulfilling prophecy a reality.
But not you. You’ll brush it off, wonder what that girl’s problem was (maybe she was having a bad day) and be thankful you didn’t have to waste any more of your time on her.
(Besides, she wasn’t out to crush your ego – only you can allow that.)
Then, it’s time to learn from it and MOVE ON.
Sometimes, it helps to have a sense of detachment from the outcome and just focus on improving your game instead. Why care so much about a stranger’s opinion anyway?
Rejection is a part of the learning process, so don’t let it trick you into believing that all the good ones are taken. You’re simply taking one more step closer to getting a girl’s phone number and asking her out. In the meantime, you’ll have plenty of chances to get better at it.
The most successful guys I know embody these two tips we’ve just talked about. They understand that life is a series of hits and misses. With enough practice, you’ll minimize those mistakes and learn what truly works.