The one trick to attracting women is by realizing the difference between what women THINK they want and what they REALLY want.
Don’t worry – it’s not as complicated as it sounds.
Here’s how it is: most women assume that they want a guy who WORSHIPS the ground they walk on. You know, the type of dude who goes all-out with the flowers, chocolates, fancy dinners and so on.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but the timing is what kills the romance.
Do you think it’s really a wise move to bring out the heavy guns so EARLY on in the game? Or would it be better to save all the mushy stuff AFTER she feels like she’s earned your affection?
The one thing you cannot do is give women the impression that you’re willing to go to such extremes for someone you barely know. Trying to be the guy they think they want enforces this impression.
To avoid looking like a needy sap who’s desperate for validation, try a different approach.
The usual candlelit dinner is going to backfire because it forces a sense of romance before any real chemistry has had a chance to develop. Getting all intense at the beginning will just end up creeping her out.
Courtship is about escalation, so you need to gradually calibrate the level of intimacy by starting out nice and easy. Wouldn’t YOU be freaked out by too much eagerness? It just doesn’t feel right.
When dating a woman for the first time, go for a place that avoids the usual trappings of romance like a quirky café or diner. The light, casual atmosphere will allow you to get to know each other better without being rushed into anything you’re not ready for.
On your end, you’ll get acquainted with her work, interests and other vital info that’ll give you a good idea of what makes her tick. If you went straight into giving her roses and a box of chocolates, she may very well be NOT into either of those.
But if you found out she likes classic black and white films in the course of your conversation…
…well, you’d probably know what DVD you can get her as a gift in the future, right?
That’s the thing about first dates: you’re not supposed to go in for the kill just yet. You need to size her up and figure out what she really wants in a guy – and then turn it up a notch from there.
Also, just because the setting isn’t romantic, it doesn’t mean the first date isn’t an opportunity to plant romantic notions in her head. Although you’re not wooing her with a fancy dinner just yet, you can already set the stage as early as now.
To do this without freaking her out, slip some romantic topics into the conversation and don’t forget to compliment her a few times. The goal here is not only to know her more, but to also make her feel good.
For instance, you can ask her general questions about her ideal romantic experience and how she would feel if it happened to her. As she describes it to you, her romantic thoughts will cause her to see you less and less as “just a friend”…
…and as someone she could potentially be more than friends with.
As with compliments, making a quick, positive comment on something about her clothes, shoes or hair works best. Looking good takes work, so acknowledging her efforts go a long way in making her feel good about herself.
If you want to be more original though, try complimenting her on something aside from her physical features, such as her intelligence, sense of humor or positive attitude. These too will help generate good feelings which she can associate with you.
Lastly, don’t let the date drag on for more than an hour, even if you’re having a good time. In fact, leaving her feeling good is the perfect time to call it a night.
With all the good feelings you’ve generated, she’ll want more where that came from – YOU. So getting her to agree on a second date will be a breeze!
Otherwise, things could get stale and boring beyond the 60-minute mark. Setting a time limit works to your advantage because it means you have other things going on in your life.
This shows a woman that you’re not about to put your life on hold for her. More importantly, it also means you live a well-balanced life – this is especially important for her to feel AFTER you’ve officially become a couple.
A genuinely attractive man has a strong sense of individuality, and being in a relationship doesn’t mean his identity will disappear into it.
In reality, what a woman really wants is a guy who won’t make her the be-all and end-all of his universe. No girl would want to be solely responsible for anyone’s happiness!