Let’s play a little statistics game. What do you think would be the ratio of the number of women you talk to successfully against those who turn you down?
For me, it was roughly 1 out of 10 when I first started out. Yes, it was a sad time, but I slowly tipped the scales in my favor as I gained more experience and got more confident.
So don’t beat yourself up if you’re having your fair share of cold shoulders – that’s just part of the game.
Like me, you’ll inevitably run into a girl who’ll kick your ego to the curb with her rejection.
It happens to all of us.
But this shouldn’t give you a reason to suddenly question your worth as a person or bury yourself in self-criticism.
Just accept the fact that you can’t please everyone out there, and not every human being has a sunny disposition.
The thing about getting better at something – like talking to women and dating them – is that it takes time to happen. Like any other skill you’ve spent your time on, it’s all about GROWTH.
People evolve and grow all the time, and this especially applies to being attractive to the opposite sex. So if the occasional girl throws a wrench in your best laid plans, just think of it as a small bump in the road – then get back up and move on.
The great part about dating is that any experience – positive or negative – ACTUALLY contributes to your personal growth.
That’s why you don’t have to kick yourself for getting shrugged off by a woman who, for instance, got told off by her boss just hours before you talked to her.
People all have their own crap to deal with, and like Forrest Gump said, it’s “like a box of chocolates”.
You might be asking yourself, “How do I move forward with all this adversity working against me?”
Simple – plan for those cold-shouldered women. Anticipate that they’ll pop up every now and then and have a contingency in place so you don’t feel defeated.
Here’s another helpful perspective to take: The universe isn’t playing a conspiracy against you.
When you look at the whole picture, we guys are in the same boat – we win some, we lose some.
The good news is that there are still plenty of opportunities to meet women who’ll be an excellent match for you. As far as I know, there isn’t any shortage of people on this planet.
Don’t be afraid that you’ll never get another chance to find love. When you dust yourself off and get back on the saddle, you’ve already won half the battle because winning has a LOT to do with just keeping at it until you succeed.
If you feel like you’ve had one botched attempt too many, maybe it’s time to do a “post-game analysis”. Football coaches do it all the time, playing back the recorded game so they can dissect what worked and what didn’t.
In the same way, try to take an OBJECTIVE look (i.e. no excessive self-bashing) and think back to the things you did right AND wrong. Teams who win championships do the same because they know that a little soul-searching goes a long way in tightening up their game.
Sooner or later, you’ll run into similar scenarios in the future, which means your past experiences can give you crucial pointers that will keep you from screwing up again.
More importantly, what you’ve learned actually helps you create an IDEAL scenario to strive for the next time around.
From here you’ll be able to shape your thoughts and actions into a positive frame which will help you get around your obstacles and meet your desired outcome.
Pretty neat, right?
I’m not going to lie and make it seem like dating is an easy gig you can succeed at effortlessly. On the contrary, you’ll need to muster quite a bit effort to be good at interacting with women.
And one of the key aspects of being attractive that you should focus on is creating POSITIVE mental habits that allow you to bounce back from failure.
This is why it’s important to study your mistakes because it helps you get used to seeing BOTH the good and the bad, and not just one side of it.
When you can take both of these into account as you go out there to meet women, you’ll TRULY understand that one little setback isn’t going to trigger some domino effect that’ll undo everything you’ve accomplished.
The worst thing you could do to yourself is expect to be the next Casanova. Why bother with mythical figures who aren’t even relevant in the real world? You don’t have to literally bed a thousand women just to consider yourself successful.
Like I’ve always said before, it’s not about obsessing over the outcome. Instead, you’re there to enjoy the ride and take it as it comes.
Ironically, loosening up a bit will improve your success-fail ratio because you’re more focused on self-improvement rather than worrying about NOT making any mistakes.
So get yourself out there, and remember that any woman who gets you down is just a roadblock on the way to the woman who is going to light up your life.