Why is it that nice guys continuously FAIL with women? The truth with these “nice” guys is that they’re acting out of a mindset that says, “I did something NICE for you, so what do I get out of it?”
In most cases, all they’ll get is a one-way ticket to the dreaded FRIEND ZONE. If you don’t know what this is, let’s just say it’s a special circle of hell reserved for guys who think that sucking up to a girl is going to get them laid.
In reality, this kind of niceness is actually a sense of ENTITLEMENT under false pretenses.
But don’t get me wrong, being a gentleman is perfectly alright. There’s nothing wrong with
doing all the old-fashioned stuff, like giving up your seat in the train for someone in need, like an elderly person or a pregnant lady.
Being a gentleman isn’t just doing stuff for hot girls in the hopes of getting laid. No, it’s being actually nice to EVERYONE out of a genuine sense of generosity, without wanting anything in return.
When it comes to dating and relationships, some guys mistakenly think that offering material gratification will get their foot in the door. This approach only serves to lower your social worth and make you look like a beta male.
This is mostly because it leaves NO room for any momentum. When you come in with guns
blazing for someone you don’t even know, it tells a woman you’re willing to go overboard with just about anyone – and that’s not attractive at all.
So the poor girl is forced into a corner, left with two basic options:
– She’ll milk the guy then leave him in the dust after
– She’ll banish him to the Friend Zone FOREVER
Men who act like nice guys are usually suffering from a serious lack of confidence. Afraid that they can’t get on a girl’s good graces any other way, they’ll take the nice guy route instead.
Let me tell you my friend, there are far better ways to a woman’s heart than acting like a needy puppy. She may find you cute, but she’ll drop you like a hot potato once the novelty’s worn off.
Instead of relying on EXTERNAL factors to attract her (i.e. doing things for her or giving her stuff), focus on being the fun guy with a great sense of humor. Learn how to build tension by teasing her and making jokes that hint at your romantic agenda.
Get all of that out of the way FIRST before breaking out the sappy stuff like candlelit dinners and the chocolates/flowers combo. Being generous with those things has its place in dating, but it’s certainly NOT at the beginning.
Be wise about it by doling out your sweetness little by little. Too much, too soon will turn her off – she’ll see you as another “nice guy” rather than an Honest-To-Goodness Gentleman.
Let the attraction build up to critical mass, then deliver the killer blow. Courtship is all about doing it in stages – it’s not a race to the finish.
In the long run, it’s great to be the guy who pays for dates (within reason), takes his girl out for long walks on the beach and rubs her feet after a long day at work. Just remember that this should be done under two basic conditions:
– You’re or more less a couple
– You’re doing it in an atmosphere of RECIPROCATION
Otherwise, you risk losing your status as an EQUAL, which means diminished attraction.
So remember: Getting a woman to like you is about knowing the difference between a high-value guy who does stuff for other people (i.e. not just the ladies) because he truly wants to…
…and the sentimental schmuck wearing his heart on his sleeve who thinks that doing nice things for a girl is the ENTIRE basis of a stable relationship.
** BTW, if you haven’t seen it yet, you’re selling yourself short.
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