No one said it was easy to become the best man you could possibly be to attract women. Any guy knows that he’s putting himself on the line every time he’s out there, interacting with the opposite sex.
Any way you look at it, the dating scene can be a tough gig to play. But then again, anything of value requires time and effort, doesn’t it?
For some guys, they understand that investing themselves comes with the territory. They get that they need to work on themselves physically, mentally and attitude-wise if they’re interested in a flourishing dating life.
Unfortunately, some men run into their share of bad luck and end up being bitter and resentful when things go south. They have trouble rolling with the punches and getting back on their feet.
But the truth is that dating can often be an uphill effort for the majority of the male population.
However, you should bear in mind that the payoff is pretty sweet. Imagine having more dates in your calendar than you can handle and having your pick of awesome women to choose from.
That’s why it’s important not to lose perspective on things. Otherwise, you could throw away the whole game if you fall into three deadly mindsets that will ruin your chances with women:
#1: “I paid my dues, now where’s my reward??”
One of the worst things you can do is have an attitude of expectation just because you made the effort to dress well, work out and read a bunch of dating books.
Granted that doing these things is a prerequisite, it doesn’t make it right for a guy to think that women should immediately throw themselves at their feet.
Doing your due diligence and setting the groundwork is only half of the equation. The rest of the game is about getting a girl’s interest and earning her respect by putting all of your theoretical knowledge into actual practice.
#2: “That last date was AWFUL, I should just quit so it doesn’t happen again”
If you thought this way, you’d be right about not failing again…in a manner of speaking.
Giving up now means you’ll never have to deal with failure ever again. But neither will you enjoy the fruits of your labor if you’re not willing to make mistakes along the way.
You know how many guys landed their dream girl with NO mistakes?
Zero.
Sorry to say, but attracting women is just like any other learning process, and messing up somewhere down the line can be your greatest teacher. If you can dig that, then getting up and dusting yourself off will be no problem for you.
It happens to the best of us. Getting the cold shoulder, flaky behavior, a downright mean attitude – these are the things that every guy has to deal with, and you’re no exception.
#3: “This is all or nothing – I need to make this work!”
Getting stuck in this train of thought will only increase the likelihood of failure. Think for a second: does your existence depend on getting her number?
When you walk up to a woman and strike up a conversation, is the fate of mankind riding on whether or not she positively responds to your approach?
Putting too much importance on a date or conversation is going to blow your chances because it creates this aura of desperation that pushes women away.
Sure, it’s important for a particular girl to like you enough to go out with you, but you don’t have to blow things out of proportion.
One of the other dangers of this is not only turning women off, but also attracting the wrong kind of girls. I’m talking about women who use desperation as leverage against a guy to walk all over him.
Trust me, you don’t want to be one of those poor saps who get taken for a ride and then left high and dry in the end.
Instead, the antidote to the three deadly sins is replacing these poisonous mindsets with a constructive one.
It all starts with getting your mind used to treating the dating game as a “bootcamp” of sorts. While you might get your butt kicked along the way, this bumpy ride builds character.
With a shift in perspective comes a more constructive outlook on the dating as a whole and taking everything in stride. You should know that this is what women are truly attracted to – a chill, easy-going man who doesn’t let his circumstances determine how he feels.
Being the self-referenced man you should be means constantly learning from your experiences and not letting the bad stuff break your spirit.
Once you’ve developed the resolve to operate under this way of thinking, riding out the storms of dating isn’t as hard as it was before. Better yet, women will naturally find you a lot more attractive because of your new attitude!