I have to tell you, guys who’ve had the sweet taste of victory are wise enough to NEVER take it for granted. Equally, the secret to their success is in knowing to never take a rejection personally.
I know how crappy it feels when the witty opener that you mustered the courage to try on that pretty girl gets shot down in flames. It’s even harder to muster the detachment to not care about it afterwards.
But you’ll get used to it. That’s not to say that persistence is necessarily a good thing. You should have the common sense to stop if that woman you’re pursuing is just feeding off your trampled ego.
Then again, common sense isn’t so common these days, yeah? Well, that’s why I’m here to show you the ropes.
So listen – like I said, there is NO room for resentment when it comes to attracting females. Girls like men who are fun, easy and relaxing to be with. Going into the game with a chip on your shoulder is a guaranteed FAILURE.
As such, you shouldn’t be angry that you have to adopt certain mindsets and attitudes to push the right buttons. Accept the fact that you’re going to have to know the patterns that are present in dating.
For example, most of the time it is up to US to pursue a girl in order to win her attention and attraction. The reality that girls use this as a form or power is a constant source of frustration to many guys.
But I’m telling you now that you shouldn’t let it get to you. Suck it up and learn how to play the game if you truly desire meaningful female companionship.
It’s all a matter of social dynamics, so you need to familiarize yourself with some basic truths to attracting females.
Let’s be honest – many women are attracted to guys who are affluent material-wise. I’m not saying that they’re materialistic, but rather that being generative is a quality that women look for in a man.
Girls are after that certain trait where you are able to get it together and take control of how you run your life. Specifically, they want a man who has a clear life direction and the courage and passion to get there.
In short, being loaded definitely helps but you’ll never find a meaningful relationship with that alone.
While you may temporarily dazzle a girl with your bling, she’ll see past the smoke and mirrors soon enough. You’ll have to possess some key qualities to CREATE a truly lasting effect on her.
One of the primary challenges to having successful interactions with women is to make her feel safe. You’ll have to offer her a considerable sense of security to open her mind to the possibility of being romantic with you later on.
Sorry to tell you this, but it takes a skilled eye to watch of for potential trip wires as you wade through her mind’s landscape. Trippy analogies aside, avoid doing or saying anything to trigger her defenses.
Humor and flirting is a great tool for cutting through those defensive layers. A man who’s skilled at being light and playful demonstrates that he’s at ease with girls… and more importantly, with himself.
Being able to joke around with a girl without any hint of self-doubt says that you’re not at all anxious with how she’ll react. Basically, you’re testing the waters but of course, you shouldn’t LOOK like you are.
As an aside, sometimes the best trait you can have is the nerve to walk away from something when it doesn’t work for you. What I mean by that is learning how to leave a bad situation, such as when an abusive girl is already taking you for granted.
In the same way, you should be also prepared to walk away from a girl you’ve just met if things aren’t going as planned. If she happens to be having a bad day and you end up getting an apathetic stare, then it shouldn’t matter to you.
A quick and polite goodbye coupled with a graceful exit is perfectly fine. She didn’t like you? So what?
What doesn’t kill you only makes you wiser the next time around. Remember, don’t take it badly during this trial and error process.
That unique kind of detachment actually helps you flirt better. It’s an attitude that says, “Hey, I’m just here to have fun talking to you… no big deal if you’re not interested.”
So, go ahead and generate some humor from the context that you and your new acquaintance are in. When you run into that striking brunette at the grocery counter, tell her,
“I’m glad YOU were at the end of this long queue. At least I’ll have something to look forward to the next time I have to line up here!”
From that example, you can see how important it is to be at ease with yourself. This is a quality that women unconsciously seek, and a separate matter worth expounding on.
Let me break it down for you. There are straightforward, conventional nine-to-five-at-the-office guys, and then there are maverick-types who differ in terms of looks and lifestyle.
Being comfortable with who you are is the one common attitude needed, regardless of what “category” you fit into. If you stand out in some way but aren’t at ease with it, then women will feel that air of weirdness and scram pronto.
You’re only asking for rejection if you’re “weird” in some way and FEEL weird about yourself as well.
The real self-confidence that women look for is drawn from the fact that she is NOT superior to you. Even if she’s incredibly good-looking, putting yourself below her is like begging to be slapped in the face.
It sounds like the easiest thing to avoid doing, but it’s actually not that hard to make her respect you less. That includes fawning over her and repeatedly reminding her how beautiful she is.
For sure, you’ll stroke her ego right before she crushes yours. Of course she’s attractive to you – why else would you bother coming up to her? Stating the obvious is never a good opening line.
I know that I’m here to teach you about meeting women, but no one’s telling you to compromise your dignity in the process.
Ass-kissing and groveling are a dog’s job. If she’s the type that enjoys kicking guys to the curb, then quit while you’re ahead. No loss on you part.
Girls want to meet a guy who’s free of that desperation which can scare them off. Don’t forget the prerequisites to be the kind of guy they want:
-Able to make her feel safe and gain her trust
-Being good at flirting
-Being comfortable with yourself
-Treating her as an equal
There are plenty of girls out there and all it takes is the proper know-how to attract them.
If you want a shortcut to attraction success, check out more conversation and approach tips here.
And I’ll see you next time with more tips and advice.
Slade Shaw
MeetYourSweet.com