10 Essential Tips For Flirting By Text Message

By Mirabelle Summers
Author of Get A Great Guy Guide

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10 Essential Tips For Flirting By Text Message

You asked, and we have responded. For all the women who have been asking for advice on how to flirt with a guy over text, this post will give you all the tips you need.

From starting the conversation, to working out whether his texts say he likes you, to how to text your way into a date, we’ve got you covered.

1. Open the conversation in an engaging way

If you like a guy, there’s no reason to wait around for him to text you first. If you want to talk to him, work up the courage and go for it. Just make sure that you aren’t ALWAYS the one starting the conversation.

All you really need for a great opening text is just a friendly or flirty greeting paired with an opening question.

You can either just say something general like “Hey you, how have you been?” or something more specific like “Hey, what did you think of the game last night?”

If he texts you first (which is a great sign!), start your response with something flirty and encouraging such as “Hey you :)”, and answer any questions he asked.

2. Keep the conversation flowing

Always send texts that have something that he can respond to, whether it be a question or an interesting topic he can comment on.

Asking questions is a great way to keep the conversation interesting and engaging. People like to talk about themselves, and asking him questions will give him the message that you are interested in his life and his opinions.

The key is to ask open-ended rather than closed yes-no questions. For example, “What did you think of last night’s episode?” compared to “Did you like the episode last night?” For extra points, ask him a question about something you have discussed previously. This will show that you were actually listening and interested in something that he talked about and will make him feel valued.

If he asks YOU a question, for example “How are you?” or “What’s your favorite type of food?”, make sure you always ask him the same question back after you have given your answer. For example, “I really love Thai food. How about you?”

An important thing to keep in mind in your text conversations is that they should be light, flirty and fun, rather than getting into anything deep and serious.

The thing is, serious convos don’t work too well over text because firstly, the messages you send have to be quite short, and secondly, because it can be hard to read one another’s emotions over text. This can lead to important things being misinterpreted!

So use texting for flirting and making plans to meet up, but leave most of the real getting to know each other for in person. You want your crush to get the impression that you are a fun woman to be around and to make him keen to find out more about you.

3. Flirt by adding emoticons and emphasis

When we flirt in person, we use a lot of emotional expressiveness. We smile and laugh a lot, use a lot of exclamations and over-emphasize certain words. When texting, you need to try to use characters and punctuation marks to mimic the same kind of expressiveness.

For example, using emoticons to show how you feel about something, or using exclamation marks or capital letters to emphasize a word or a point.

For flirting, the most commonly used emoticons are smiley faces 🙂 and winky faces 😉

Smiley faces are usually used to show him that something he said made you smile, or that you mean something you are saying in a nice way. For example, “Thanks. You’re so sweet :)” Winky faces are usually used to show that you are just teasing, or to be a little naughty. For example, “You must be sore after than game. Need a massage? ;)”

If he says something that makes you laugh or feel really happy, you can use the 😀 emoticon to show this. To add a playful touch to a debate or teasing battle with your crush, you can use a tongue-poking-out face :P. For example, “My team will definitely win this weekend :P”

You can also use sad faces to empathize with your crush when he is sick or feeling down. For example, “Aww, I’m really sorry to hear that 🙁 Hope it all gets resolved soon.”

Other emoticons include using :O or :0 to show that you are shocked or worried about something, :/ to show that you are unsure, and :S to show that you are confused.

The key is to not overuse emoticons or exclamation marks, but put them in whenever they are appropriate. Although you may be smiling throughout a conversation with your crush out on a date, in the virtual world an emoticon in every text can get a little old.

4. Find common ground

Find ways to bring up the things you have in common with your crush in your text conversations. Talking about a common interest will keep the conversation flowing a lot easier, especially if you don’t know each other very well.

For example, there may be a TV show you both like, a movie you both want to see, or a place you’ve both been to that you could bring up. When common interests happen to come up in conversation, take note of these so you can talk about them again at a later time.

5. Use compliments

Everyone loves receiving compliments, and using these will help to give him the message that you’re interested in him (if it wasn’t already obvious). Find ways to subtly add these into the conversation. For example, if he tells you that he likes going for a run or swim after work, you could say “That’s awesome, you must be really fit!”

Even laughing at his jokes is a compliment – you can use ‘haha’ or ‘lol’ (laugh out loud) to show that you found something he said funny.

Try not to overdo it though – if you come on too strong and compliment him on everything he tells you about himself or laugh about everything he says, you might come across as ‘too keen’ or desperate.

Also take note of whether he is returning your compliments, because if he is interested he will be sure to be finding ways to compliment you when you tell him about yourself.

6. Tease and get a little playful

There are many playful ways that you can a little fun and excitement to a text conversation. For example, teasing your crush, making jokes, and calling him by pet names as you get to know each other better.

The things you tease each other about now are the things that can turn into personal jokes between you and make your conversations all the more intimate. The key is to keep it light and fun, and make sure any teasing is funny for both of you.

To make it clear that you’re just teasing about something, you can use a wink face at the end of your text. Often, teasing like this can actually work as a compliment in disguise. For example, saying “You let that dog away with anything! Such a big softie :)”

When he makes fun of you, be sure to laugh and try to come up with something witty in return. For example, if he says “I bet you want to watch that movie just to see Brad Pitt”, you could say something like “Haha well I’d rather watch a movie with you in it, but unfortunately you haven’t brought one out yet. So I had to settle for Brad Pitt”.

You can also be a little naughty if you feel things are going well. For example, if he texts you saying, “Hey, how are you?” you could reply with “Good, but I’d be even better if you were here ;)”

As you get to know your crush better over text, you may also come up with some pet names that are appropriate to use for him. Using personal pet names for each other is another way to make the conversation all the more thrilling and intimate.

Whenever you try out a new nickname, look out for signs that he enjoys it. For example, if he is really into working out, being fit and muscular is obviously important to him. So you could start a text saying something like, “Hey muscles, how’s your day been?”

7. Check your texts before you press ‘send’

To avoid any embarrassing auto-correct moments, check over your texts before you send them to make sure everything is as it should be.

Make an effort with your spelling and grammar too – you don’t want to come across as someone who can’t string a sentence together properly.

8. End the convo before it gets stale

If the conversation starts to wane, bring it to an end. If you leave at a time when you’ve both been really into the conversation, you will leave him wanting more and excited for next time. Whereas if you keep texting until the conversation gets boring and you are both struggling to find something to say, then it is probably going to kill the buzz a little.

So end the conversation with a flirty goodbye and save the rest for next time. For example, “Goodnight, talk again soon :)”

If you have to go for a particular reason, let him know where you’re going or what you’re doing when you say goodbye. For example, “Going to see a movie with Mel now, talk to you later :)”.

Letting him know what you’re up to, rather than just saying ‘got to go,’ will show him that you have a great life outside of texting him. This will also give him something to ask you about next time. For example, he might text back later saying “Hey, how was the movie?”

9. Interpret what his texts say about how he feels

The way that your crush responds to your texts can give you a lot of insight into how he feels about you.
If he seems to be texting back fairly quickly (within a few minutes) and is answering your questions and making an effort to continue the conversation (writing a sentence or two each time), he is interested in the conversation.

Particularly good signs that he is interested are when he uses smiley faces, asks you questions, calls you by nicknames, gives you compliments, and sometimes texts you first.

But if he’s sending a lot of one-word texts, barely answering your questions, and taking a long time to text back (or not texting back at all), then these are sure signs that he’s probably not interested. Although he may take a while to text back initially if he’s busy with something, once he has responded he should keep texting back fairly quickly if he likes you.

If his texts are signaling that he’s not interested, don’t try to force the conversation or ask him why he’s not texting back. When a guy isn’t making an effort, end the conversation early on.

If he actually does like you, he will make an effort to talk to you again later. If he doesn’t, then leave it at that and don’t try to text him again – he might not be the one for you.

10. Turn virtual into reality

If everything has been going really well over text with your crush, and you’re receiving a lot of positive signals from him, it’s time to start hinting about meeting up and doing something together.

This can be done in quite a casual way, rather than asking him on an outright date. Think back to your common interests. Perhaps you identified a movie you both want to see, a type of food you both like, or an activity you both enjoy.

For example, if you both love going swimming at your local beach, you could say something like “Reckon it will be good beach weather this weekend?” or if you want to be more bold, you could simply say “We should go for a swim if it’s hot this weekend”. If you are both big fans of coffee, try “We should check out that new café sometime”.

As long as it is something you both enjoy, you can’t go wrong.

If you want genuine men and not just any man, let us challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story, check this out…

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