By Amy North
From Devotion System
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How To Make A Man Obsess Over You
The 5 Stages of Heartache (Get Over Your Breakup)
Have you ever thought about how awesome the whole world seems when you’re smitten with a guy?
It’s like a better, more beautiful place where everything is pleasant and less bothersome. All of this quickly changes though when you follow to love or have your heart broken.
The world seems dark and bleak and almost anything can bring you to tears or piss you off.
This only goes to show us that our world is as bright or as gloomy as we make it out to be and how quickly we can jump between feelings when love is involved.
In the beginning of a romantic relationship we often fear love because we know the pain it’s capable of inflicting.
Sadly, heartbreak is something most people go through in their lives, it’s a new Universal part of the human experience.
Think about how many films, books and songs are dedicated to love’s aftermath, our culture thrives on it.
Today, we’ll talk about the five stages for getting over heartbreak even if it seems impossible at first.
So, let’s get started.
#1. Coping with your Loss
Accepting that your relationship is over can be tough and chances are you’ll experience a tidal wave of emotions ranging from hurt regret to agony and anger.
You may cry shout laugh or may not be able to get anything past a lump in your throat.
Everyone has a different way of dealing with emotions but I can assure you that we all share similar feelings when experiencing heartache.
An important part of the coping process is to take time to process your feelings. Not only will this help you with moving forward but learning how to cope in a situation of loss is a valuable lesson to learn and it’ll teach you how to deal with emptiness.
If you rush through emotions and jump into a new relationship without properly handling your grief, then chances are your repressed emotions will surface and blowup in your face.
Instead, give yourself the necessary time to move through each feeling look inward and let it go.
#2. Toughening Up
Now, this doesn’t mean you have to hit the gym or start lifting weights but rather that there will come a time when you’ll emotionally toughen up.
You may know what I’m talking about, in fact you’ve probably seen one of your friends or relatives go through this stage the one where they vow to never fall in love again or promise not to make the same mistakes.
Well they may think they’re being tough this isn’t strength but hurt disguised as it. And hurt shouldn’t stop us from dating again.
Although it may feel like time is standing still, the rest of the world keeps moving on. You’re still expected to go to work, pay your bills and be social with others.
As much as you may want to hide under the blankets until the pain goes away, you shouldn’t. Choosing to face the world head-on will show you how strong you really are and when you realize this you’ll see you’re unstoppable.
And if your ex-boyfriend sees you in this unstoppable state of mind, he’s going to want to come crawling back to you.
Now remember, as much as you may feel like throwing the towel in or admitting defeat, you’re not alone in feeling the way you do.
In fact, there are millions of people who at this very moment are facing similar battles and are searching for their own strength which brings me to my next tip.
#3. Getting used to Flying Solo
One of the hardest parts of dealing with a breakup is getting used to flying solo.
Sure, it can be tough when you’re suddenly doing the things you used to do together alone but most people don’t see is how exciting it can be to re-embrace your independence.
Think about it, you get to relearn that your own company is the best kind of company and that there’s a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.
Once you embrace the idea of flying solo, you can actually start to appreciate your own awesome self.
Start a journal to write down your thoughts, treat yourself, go on dates with yourself, binge watch your favorite shows, go for hikes, pick up new hobbies, plan a trip and always compliment yourself.
Slowly, through heartbreak’s drawn out pain, you’ll begin to realize that going home alone isn’t a dark daunting thought it’s kind of great actually.
#4. Finding Yourself Again
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with someone for three months or three years, time doesn’t determine how you felt about someone or the impact they had on your life.
No matter how much your relationship changed you as a person, it’s important to find yourself again as an individual. This means rediscovering your own routine and stability.
It sounds tough but it’s really quite simple.
Before your ex-boyfriend was a part of your life, you were strong an independent person. To find yourself again, you need to go back to being that person.
Of course, you won’t be the exact same person as you were before, the experiences and lessons you learned along the way will undoubtedly make you stronger and wiser.
Still pick up the pieces of you and rebuild yourself into the unbeatable force you are.
Sometimes that’s all a broken heart needs to be put back together again and as the late great Marilyn Monroe once said sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
#5. Remembering the Good Times
Believe it or not, there will come a time in your life when you can look back on your relationship and smile.
It may take a year it may take 10, but when it does happen you’ll no longer feel angry or upset thinking about it.
Maybe you’ll hear a song that flashes you to a memory or perhaps you’ll pull up the shoe box from the back of your closet the one where you crammed all the love notes, ticket stubs and photos.
Either way, my point is that when you finally able to get to the stage you’ll be able to lookback and remember the best parts of the relationship instead of the awful bits.
I hope this helps you along your path to getting over heartbreak.
Whenever it seems impossible just remember that it may be hard right now but as Confucius said, “this too shall pass.”
Before I go, I wanted to remind you not to forget to watch my video below. You’ll definitely learn lots of valuable information on How To Make A Man Obsess Over You.
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