The Secret Code Behind Men Saying “I’m Not Interested in a Relationship Right Now”

By Claire Casey
Author of Language of Desire

You’ve recently met, there’s a clear flirt vibe going on, and then he drops this bomb: “I’m really not interested in a relationship right now.” You know for a fact there was sexy energy between the two of you. What gives? What’s his REAL play here?

It could be any of the following 5 reasons, and only one of those is the truth…

5 REAL Reasons Men Say “I’m not looking for a relationship right now”

1. The Pity CardWhen a man tells you he’s not interested in a relationship, it MIGHT be true, but it might not. He might be playing one of 5 “cards” here…

He’s telling you he’s not interested, just broke up, etc., because he hopes to get some tasty-sweet woman-sympathy. It’s an attention thing.

Playing this card might even get him some “poor brokenhearted baby” sex.

Which could develop into regular bootie calls.

WARNING. You probably already know that women tend to hope that bootie calls will turn into a deeper relationship. Men don’t.

2. The “Screening for Bootie Calls” Card

This one is a version of the truth. He’s NOT interested in a “relationship,” but he IS interested in sex.

See the above warning.

3. The “I’m in Control” Card

He tells you this IN CASE he might want to date you.

You’ve backed off, so now he gets to call all the shots if he decides he wants to.

4. The “Easy Exit” Card

Once he’s told you he’s not interested, he can freely make a play for you, and you’re all off-balance. (He’s in control.)

So if you date for a while or even sleep together, and then he decides he’s ready to move on, he has a ready-made exit excuse.

He can quickly and easily put all the responsibility for “misunderstanding” on you.

“Hey,” he can casually say, “I TOLD you I wasn’t interested in a relationship.”

5. The Truth

Yep, some guys say it because it’s true.

And some guys say it because it’s true, then change their minds and decide to date.

**How to RESPOND to his “I’m not interested”speech**

Take him at his word.

Assume he’s telling the gospel truth, and leave him alone.

This means you move forward with your life, immediately. Date other men and don’t put your universe on hold in hopes that something might develop with this guy.

Don’t behave like his girlfriend or his bootie call.

Be clear that if he’s interested in dating you, then your outings have to be actual dates, not “let’s watch Netflix at my place then have sex” or “I need to fill some social gaps” or “you’re the only one available, so why not.”

You’re worth so much more than that.