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...Over the next three lessons, we’re going to be looking in-depth at three of the most important principles of successful dating and relationships:

PRINCIPLE #1.
“Men and women are different.”

PRINCIPLE #2.
“Men are attracted to us because we’re WOMEN.”

PRINCIPLE #3.
“Dating and relationships aren’t about winning and losing – they’re about growing and learning.”

I realize that all of these things sound pretty self-evident, don’t they?

Well, that’s why I’m going to go into each of these three things in a little more detail right now, just so you don’t throw your hands up in disgust at the simplicity of these principles. I’d like to help you see, first of all, how these three principles have a lot more bearing on your romantic adventures than you might otherwise think!

Seriously, there’s more to them than you might believe – and you might also be surprised at how many women set themselves up for failure by not making their realizations into reality.

It’s very easy to read something and say to yourself, “Oh, I know about that” – but it’s less easy to actually externalize that truth and make it a reality in terms of your own behavior.

So let’s look at these three principles in just a little more detail – enough to give you a better understanding of how important they are, and an expectation of what the next three sections will contain.

Principle #1: “Men and Women are Different“

First of all, let’s just get your (politely unspoken but nonetheless predictable) reaction to the title line out of the way here:

DUHHHHHH!!!

Who on earth doesn’t know that men and women are different?

It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I mean, look at us. We even look different: men are more muscular, with more solid bodies, more body mass, wider shoulders, bigger hands and feet; women are usually smaller, with a higher percentage of fat (dammit!), slightly less muscle, smaller bones, less body and facial hair – oh yeah, and we have breasts, too.

You’d have to be an idiot to mistake a man for a woman – or to treat a man like a woman, too.

Or … would you?

It’s easy to consciously think to ourselves, “Men are different from us.” But it’s also pretty easy to let that belief just float up there in our conscious minds, without actually allowing it to percolate through into our subconscious – which is the deeper part of our awareness, the part of our minds where the changes in our beliefs and corresponding behaviors takes place.

How often have you, in the past, addressed a question or a comment to a man, and been frustrated, irritated, or hurt when he responded in a way that you hadn’t predicted or wanted?

It’s gotta be at least once (and that’s such a ridiculously conservative estimate that I have trouble even typing it, to be honest.) Realistically, if you’ve had any experience with men at all – and I’m not even talking about romantic experience here, I mean any experience of any sort – then that figure will more likely be in the low-to-mid double figures at the very least.

So it’s a fair bet to say we’ve all experienced that frustration, pain, or irritation at one point or another, right?

This is because, when we talk to men, it’s pretty commonplace to project our own personalities and our own gender onto them. We want them to respond to us in the way that we would respond, were we in their shoes.

So when we get a response to the question that we don’t like – a response that varies from what we’d expected - we get annoyed. Or we get hurt. Or confused. Or we sulk.

Something undesirable usually happens – even if you mask your reaction and pretend that everything’s fine, you still know that, in your own reality, you would have preferred a different answer.

We’ll look at this in more depth in the next lesson, but for now, let me just say this one thing:

MEN ARE NOT WOMEN.

They are not even remotely like women.

It is not helpful to project feminine characteristics onto a man, even unwittingly.

For example, you might wish that he’d respond to you more like your sister, or your best friend, or your mother; but now ask yourself this.

Do you want to go home tonight and have mad, passionate sex (or make tender, gentle love) with your sister, your best friend, or your mother?

No. I didn’t think so.

You are going to need to embrace a simple – in fact, an almost simplistic – fact. When you’re able to do this, you will be able to relax a bit more.

You will be able to stop trying to control other people’s behavior, and you will be able to stop torturing yourself with the If Only’s: “If only he’d just be a little bit more ­­­___.” “If only he’d stop saying ___.” “If only he’d stop doing ___.”

Here’s the fact: men do not always make a whole lot of sense to women.

That’s it.

It’s as simple as that.

This fact is an unavoidable part of life – and in fact, I think it’s actually something to be embraced.

Here’s another way of looking at that same fact: it’s quite likely that, no matter how well you get to know a man, aspects of his behavior will forever remain mysterious to you.

And you know what? That’s okay. Because you don’t need to understand men fully in order to attract them – and you don’t need to understand them fully to keep them, either.

It’s quite all right for you to be mystified by masculine behavior sometimes. And the sooner you accept the fact that you are going to be mystified by it – and the sooner you learn to embrace that fact – the sooner your attitude will adjust, and the sooner you’ll be able to comprehend how to attract a man and how to keep him committed.

More on this in the next lesson. For now, let’s take a look at the third part of your course, which is where we deal with Principle #2 …

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